Monday, May 23, 2005

Hmmph

For $4700.00 I could have gotten a good pair of.. well.. as aibee says.. "norks"

Actually.. a damn good pair..


*sighs*

I've only got about 30 alcohol swabs so far..

I think i should put them on Ebay... I'm sure everyone will want a piece of my larceny... LOL


obsidian

Saturday, May 21, 2005

A day in the life of, well .. ME (okey its really long but worth is according to ME :P)

Yes, the funeral was today. It was actually bittersweet. I went over it in another post, so lets move on now. I went back to the hospital after the funeral. Thinking abou tthe fact, that I found out yesaterday that one of my online friend's husband died on Thursday. About my co worker from another job who has bone cancer. About my girlfriend who has ovarian masses. About the 30 something woman on my floor who is dying of cervical cancer and is leaving behind a 5 year old child.

I think about how life isnt fair.

And then I try to think of happy things.


I didnt tell you all I went with 3 friends to the Ellen Degenares show on Tuesday did I? Yup I ditched school tuesday night so I could go to Burbank and see Gwen Stefani... and Kirstie Alley, .. and Wanda Sykes. Some guy from the Real World Las Vegas was ther ein the crowd. We got a cool gift bag from Old Navy. The Old Navy dancers were there.. it was a heck of a lot of fun.


We did wait around quite a bit for the show to start. But, it was sooo worth it.. I taped it... and was looking for us inthe crowd..

There was a lot of .. stand up.. sit down.. cheer cheer cheer... tiring to say the least..

and when i looked for us.. what did I find?

Shots of my ass ... all over National Television. Well glad they were fast shots at least :P LOL

Sooooooooooooo after these rather happy thoughts about Tuesday and the Gwen Stefani mini concert, I got back to the hospital, still talking about today,

I had a pretty good day as a student, good nurse.. taught me some things.. I thought it was a darn good, but very emotional day.

So i get home, to read my mail.

Open up a statement from Blue Cross...

How much do you think one pill of radioactive iodine is???

take a guess...any guess... really? wow.. you and the insurance company must be on the same wavelength.. never would I imagine a pill was NINE THOUSAND DOLLARS

Yes, 9, 000 dollars.

one pill

and because i have shitty insurance... my share of this .. is a whopping $4700.. can we say I'm screwed?????

So I went off the deep end for a while. I told my friend I was going to steal $9000 worth of alcohol swabs from the hospital, that I WAS going to get my money back. Because, I actually do the student thing at this hospital we will now call, Screw Me Hospital.


I was depressed.. BUT.. I thought of what I COULD do.. instead of wallowing in my self imposed $4700 misery.. I called my friend, she is interning at another hospital.. She told me all about it.. so I will call the other lady on Monday and set it up . I hope i get it. Course I'm also going to call Screw Me Hospital where I got my $9000 pill.. my supposed after I graduate future employers, and ask WTF?????


I'm going to call yet, another hospital on Monday and see what they have for scholarships. If they give for full or part time.. its fine with me.. I will sign on the dotted line.. if I change my mind, I can pay the money back when I graduate. I already owe every credit company in the world money, why not the hospitals too?


Soooooooooooooooooo after my meltdown there .. I was sitting her at my desk, playing one of my MMPG games, when the kids come in.. 'Mom, there's a bird that fell out of hits nest.. its just a baby and its going to die!"

And I think... they are going to be so sad when it does die. Its like 100 degrees plus out here now.. so I wasnt thinking this little guy woudl hold on.. So i went outside.. and there the ugly little thing was laying ... in such a way that I iddn thtink it was alive at all. J was sitting there.. looking at the bird, then she looks at me... then at the bird... and I look at B, and he has these little hopeful eyes, like.. *Mom can fix everything*..

shit.

So i thought, alright.. I can do this.. I think.. I know nothing about birds.. but its hot outside.. he probably needs some water. So I grabbed an empty syringe and away I went. Filled the syringe with water and started to squirt water around his mouth, thinking, of course that he will open up and drink the dang water. Well, sort of. So I thought .. hey hummingbirds like sugar water, lets try that. This was DEFINITELY NOT a hhummingbird.. but it was a bird. Ugly, I do remind you. Didnt even have any fuzzynes.. well a little off his head he looked like a half bald ugly thing.. grey and white tail feathers..but he was alive and i couldnt very well let it die. So my son says.. "Mom, call the animal hospital near here, they take birds for free and fix them up" Soooo.. I thought alright at least I will call and ask them what to do.


They of course, were closed.

So I caled my friend S. She likes birds, and fish, and cats, and dogs. She had a lot of each. She calledme and said.. you have to get some baby bird formula. Interesting, I thought, I ha d never heard of baby bird formula. So I called the nearest petstore. They had just closed. *sighs*

Called my friend back... "Hey.. petstore is close.. I'm going to try the one near you..can you take this thing?" She was like.. really? I was like.. uh yeah.. I dont want it here.. are you kidding me ?

Soooo.. i picked up baby bird formula, $7.99 for an unknown bird who dropped out of a tree and into my front lawn. I decided to name him after the man whose funeral we attended today. because one of his mantras was, "Never quit."


That little bird was the only one alive, there were 5 other baby birds that didnt survive in our yard, the kids went around and looked. This little one was the only one who held on.

His name is Doug.

I know he will be fine..


And now I can go to bed, I feel much better about the funeral, the bird, and the paper clips I am stealing from the hospital tomorrow..


Night all ;)

S

An Angel who lived here on earth has ascended

So today I got up. I can handle funerals, not a problem. I went to the hospital.. and I did my student part.. at 10:30 I went to the church for the funeral. I was fine, until they started the slide show, then they started talking about how wonderful this man was. I had no idea.

About 30 years ago he was hit in the head with a pulley caused brain damage, I had never known. Oneof his son's said that he had taken an IQ test earlier, and 75 is mental retardation, his father scored a 78. You would never had known. He worked until the day he died. In fact that was where he died. Everyone loved him.

He was such a calm, funny, great guy. he was 63. Too early by my standards, to be taken away. But the good die young, and thats why I'm going to live forever :)

So, yes i cried, just a bit, tears and some sniffles, I waited until i got into the car before i bawled my eyes o ut.. and it was because I hadn't known how wonderful a person he was. Its because the world needs more like him, its because his family will miss him. He was such a bright ray of sunshine.


The pastor told us that when he asked M about her husband, what was his favorite song, she said, his favorite song was what I woudl be singing at the time. What was his favortie color? Whatever I was wearing. He loved his wife more than anything. The day he died, she was worried about a new building she had to attend an appt at. She was worried there wouldnt be elevators. He told her he had to leave, he was late for work. he called her on the phone later and said, "Dont worry about your appt. I just checked and the building has elevators." He took the time out of his life to do for others.

He told silly jokes. He may forget who you are sometimes, but he had everything written down in these little notepads. I do remember him pulling one out a time or two. He did forget who i was once, I tought that was weird.. but then i figured i changed my hair or something. He had different pads for work, family and church. They said he would write down what people's favorite things were. Like if he offered you donuts at church and he saw which one you took., he wouldl make sure you had one the following week.

He loved people. He loved his family. He loved God. He was one in a million. The world is a bit dimmer without his presence.

I am glad to have known him.

DC, I know you are in heaven now looking down on us.. we'll miss you.. and do you think you could put in a good word or two for me to the Big Guy?

>:D<

S

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Up to date---

Okey ... I will try to keep y'all kind of up to date in this post..


I am now in third semester nursing school.. yayyaya .. thank god only 7 more months.. woot woot... love my clinical instructor... but we have about 6 instructors last now as opposed to the two we had last semester.. have no idea why we have so many.. anyhoooow


Gave my presentation to the second semester on hyperthyroidism.. was fun ... nothing to report much there.. although I was looking around the room and wondering which ones werent going to pass that semester.. lOL>.. It seems .. 2nd semester is really the weeder class. Weeds people out.


So I went to my first full weekend at clinical last weekend. First weekend we are at the hospital .. so I wasnt nervous.. the clinical instructor is great.. and we really arent doing much more than we were before. Anyhooow .. I got the bitch from hell nurse to follow..Shannon.. are you listening? Have you had one of these before??

Well, I will give you the scenario and you decide..


I was assigned a nurse.. her name was Lori.. so I didnt know who she was.. I asked someone.. they pointed her out..

So I walked over.. I said.. 'Lori?" .. I heard a mumble..

I introduced myself and said I would be following her today. (It's called shadowing, we watch what they do and how they spend their time taking care of all their patients)

So she didnt

say

a

thing


Ignored me.


So I walked away .. and went to this other student.. he was like.. do you think she didnt hear you? I said.. I dont know...

So i waited.. when she got up later, I followed her to the medication cart.. she was talking to this other nurse.. and then Lori starts talking about how this patient kept calling her.. and how she wanted to "slug him" and she repreated this a few times.. and used the F word a coupel times in it.. I was just standing there thining.. omg this girl is soooooo unprofessional.. why is she working here? I'd fire her ass.. anyhoooow..

So then she turns to me and says.. "Thats YOUR patient." First thing she said to me all day. I said okey I can do that assessment but we dont give out meds on Saturday, we give them on Sunday. o thats the extent of the conversation then.


Little later she tells me.. that she checks ot see if her meds are all here.. and f-ing pharmacy.. and etc.. that was the extent of teaching she did that whole day.

we went to meet her patients.. on the way to the first room, she said.. I hate people following me.. if we were in a bar right now.. and you were followong me like this I'd turn around and slug you.


We proceeded later to meet my guy she told me I was supposed to do the assessment on.. (the bad thing tho was that I am supposed to pick a patient with cancer and this person didnt have it) Anyhow i was bullied into it..

So I asked Lori, are we going to the next room... she grabbed me by the shoulders and said.. YOU are going to assess your patient.. I am going to the next room and she stomped off. I was like.. whatever this chick is a major fucking nutjob.

She came back later and said she was sorry she snapped at me .. but she just didnt like people following up right behind me.. she had grabbed me by the shoulders agina and got real close .. as she was saying she didnt like people up her butt.... I moved in closer.. I wasnt about to let her intimidate me... I siad.. I understood she didnt want anyone following her.. that it was annoying to her.. and I fiugred.. that was it..I'm staying as far away from the bitch as possible.. which I did ...as much as I could

She handed me the charting for the patient.. she never asked if we were doing the charting.. whatever.. she didnt help me with it.. whatever.. she did come over after I had assessed the patient and was filling out the documentation.. "I dont ever want to see you looking back and forth on the charting again" I was looking to see how they had charted the day before to see if what I was doing was right.."I said.. I need ot see how they charted this" she just kind of laughed and walked away.. I was pissed. She wasnt going to show me.. but then she thought she had the right to criticze..


She told me I had to do all her accuchecks for her patients.. I had absolutely no problem doing them.. it was fine..


But she came in .. while I was staying away from her.. LOL... and she said.. You need your instructor her to do anything? I said yes.. I do .. she said okey better get him up here.. you need to do a dressing change, flush a Dobhoff.. and put ointment on this guy, (my patient) .. I was like. .okey

Now, you have to see.. that everyone else, all my classmates..had nurses that were helping them, chart, give meds, explain things, teach them.. and here i had this girl who didn't want to show me anything.. so I was pretty pissed.. I said y'know.. this is a waste of an entire day .. its ridiculous.

So when my instructor got up there.. I told him everything nad he was like.. you dont need to take that.. we will just finish taking care of your patient..and thats it.

So we went in.. the dobhoff wouldnt flush.. the bitch cam ein while me and a classmate and my instructor were in there.. he said to Lori... "Are you the nurse of this patietn?" She said yes.. he said.. "You know his Dobhoff is obstructed?" She said yes.. He said.. "well areyou going to change it?" She said.. "No, I'm not.. SHE is." POinting to me. (pissedme off again)... then my instructor said.. "NO, she isnt." not in a snotty way, but dismissive, like.. dont fuck with me, she isnt doing it. "So then she left the room.. I bout laughed. but I was still spazzing abou t changing a central line dressing.

Anyhow.. I didn' t do all of her accuchecks.. jsut the one on my patient.



Later I told everyone exactly what happened the whole day with this nurse and htey were like.. what the heck? YOu shoudl have gotten another nurse.... I said.w ell I was just thinking to myself that once I graduate.. i woudl have to deal with people like that... and my instructor said... well .. yes and no.. you will be on the same ground once you graduate.. whic is true.. she was probablya bitch because i was a student.. not anohter nurse..

The next day i was talkng to some other nurses.. and one was saying how when she was younger.. the nurses werent helping her.. she said in fact, "They eat their own, " or young.. can't remember.. but there were two other nurses who were nodding their heads furiously..


Great.. what I have to look forward too.. LOL

Oh well.. its just like working with a lot of women anywhere.. some feel to gossip, some feel like they have to bully others, etc..

I plan on workign with my friend Lisa in ICU when I graduate.. but we'll see.

I'm pretty easy to get along with.. and I will take shit for a while.. but just watch out when it builds up .. because then I wont take crap.

So I guess we'll see what happens next.. good things is.. no one will ever get that nurse.. and after I graduate.. and if I end up working with her again... her foul mouth better be closed.. no one should be speaking that way in a loud enough voice so that everyone hears her mouth.

I say Fuck and shit and whatever.. but NEVER at work... (lunch, breaks, they dont count/ and its never in front of clients or co workers.... well outside of the people who are sitting with me) And they said she was shaking a lot.. so I dont know what that implies.

Anyhoow... yeah .. that was my last weekend.. the next day I got a really good nurse..


On Monday, Scott's bestfriends Dad died. Scott took it really hard, his own father passed away about 13 years ago ... and he still hasnt completely gotten over it.. and now his friends dad died.. its really sad..he had a heart attack at work and died.. :(

So the funeral is this Saturday.. i will be leaving clinical early to go to the services.. I knew him.. he was a good guy .. I feel bad for his family.. they were friends of mine as well.


But now.. its back to work... Brain Cancer is next on the studylist..


Have a wonderful day all!

Thursday, May 05, 2005

driving in cars with friends aka Why you shouldnt carpool

Also known as "car-pooling". SO for the last semester, my friend F and I have been carpooling. It gets quite annoying after a while tho. She changes plans a LOT. She'll call me, we set a time, she'll call me 4 times after that changing the plans.

This is why, in semester 3, I am driving by myself. I dont want anyone calling me 2 minutes before I pick them up, asking why I'm late.

I dont want my plans changed 5 times in one day. I want to drive in peace, not being stressed because someone else is stressed out about a test or a paper and they are passing it on to me.

If I'm hungry, I want to stop and get food, or if I need nail polish remover from the drugstore, or I need money from the bank, I dont want to have to get a second opinoin on whether I can stop or not.


Yes, yes, gas is at a crazy price, but, quite frankly, I'd rather pay it then to have to have a discussion as to whether or not we can stop at Starbucks on the way to class..

This is a sample call, in fact this was this morning's calls, plural.


F: S?

Me: Yes?

F: What time are you going today?

Me: Well I dont want to go at 11, so maybe sometime this afternoon.

F: in the afternoon? How come?

Me: In the afternoon, yes, because I dont want to wait around all day at the school.

F: Well, what time?

Me.: I dont know, I need to get up, have coffee.. and be up for a while before i know what time. But i'm going this afternoon.

F: What time is S going?

Me: 11 am

F: What time is B going?

Me: I dont know I havent talked to her.

F: okey, have you done any of the reading.

Me. *inwardly sighs, because still in bed and hasnt done jackshit to do with school and doesnt want to be on phone right now.*

No, i havent. I'll call you later.. byeee

*click*


So i called her back later..

Me: Hey its me. I think I'm going to go at 5.

F: 5?

Me: Yes 5

F: Have you talked to S, ?

Me: Yes

F: Have you talked to B?

Me: yes

F: What time are they going?

Me. S at 11, B at 5

F: What are they going to do there?

Me: well watch the videos for the lab on Saturday I believe.

F: Okey I'll pick you up at 5.

Me: Well no, because I have to pick the kids up .. and I have other stuff to do ..so I iwll meet you there at 5.

F: Oh.. okay..

Me, feeling bad now, yes I crumble easily:

Well, I dont know where i will be coming from at that time. (note to self: where the hell else will you be coming from you idiot??)

And, so I will just be there at 5..

F: ok

Me: well you know.. you can call me and if you can leave at 4:30 we can drive to gether its no big deal.. I mean I dont have any where to go to to day.. *digs self in deeper*

F: well I dont know if ..

Me: ok well call me later if you can.. byeeee

*click*

*sighs*

Soul mates ... yes or no?

I had a dream the other night.. and i guess it wasnt so weird.. but .. lets break it down. I was mad at my significant other in this dream and as usual I act rashly, which I dont remember what I did at the time, probably told him off, then later, I felt really bad, so I go back to apologize, and he's talking to some other girl.. so of course i start walking away, feeling really horrible that i los thim ... then next thing he is right behind me and says something, I dont remmber what, but i turn around and there he is .. and I feel happy and wonderful.. and yes you can groan, complete.


So.. interesting thing about this dream is, the guy is no one I know. No one thats feeels like anyone i know. NO one on TV, in a book, anyone I know. No one.

not even the significant other i have now.

*shrugs*

I dont know what this had to do with, i dont much believe in soul mates. I know my mom and dad have been together for almost 50 years, but is that a soul mate? They do everything together and dont seem to fight.. I dont know.


I only know that for me, there has never been one relationship that has been that perfect, happy, in love all the time feeling. Either someone wanted to change me, or they didnt care enough to know what I like or dislike.

I dont know.. I guess I'm somewhat happy where I am right now..there is something missing between us, but at least we dont yell and fight.. and I dont get the shit beat out of me.. there's a start LOL. But its been eleven years. I dont have that in-love feeling anymore.. and I'm sure he doenst either. Its comfortable. But I know all my needs arent getting met.. and I'm sure his arent either.

So .. what happens now.. wait until the kids move out.. then slowly drift apart even more.. and then one of us finds someone else... or we just sit around and fool each other that this is working .

And just what was that dream all about... soul mates, something i read about in books, and see in movies, but I dont think its real.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Hmmm

OKey well apparently I'm the only one with bad dates.. :P

Alrighty,

I am off to the first night of Semester 3...

Lets count them... 2 down .. 2 to go.. wooohoooo!

*does happy dance*

Sid