Thursday, May 05, 2005

Soul mates ... yes or no?

I had a dream the other night.. and i guess it wasnt so weird.. but .. lets break it down. I was mad at my significant other in this dream and as usual I act rashly, which I dont remember what I did at the time, probably told him off, then later, I felt really bad, so I go back to apologize, and he's talking to some other girl.. so of course i start walking away, feeling really horrible that i los thim ... then next thing he is right behind me and says something, I dont remmber what, but i turn around and there he is .. and I feel happy and wonderful.. and yes you can groan, complete.

So.. interesting thing about this dream is, the guy is no one I know. No one thats feeels like anyone i know. NO one on TV, in a book, anyone I know. No one.

not even the significant other i have now.


I dont know what this had to do with, i dont much believe in soul mates. I know my mom and dad have been together for almost 50 years, but is that a soul mate? They do everything together and dont seem to fight.. I dont know.

I only know that for me, there has never been one relationship that has been that perfect, happy, in love all the time feeling. Either someone wanted to change me, or they didnt care enough to know what I like or dislike.

I dont know.. I guess I'm somewhat happy where I am right now..there is something missing between us, but at least we dont yell and fight.. and I dont get the shit beat out of me.. there's a start LOL. But its been eleven years. I dont have that in-love feeling anymore.. and I'm sure he doenst either. Its comfortable. But I know all my needs arent getting met.. and I'm sure his arent either.

So .. what happens now.. wait until the kids move out.. then slowly drift apart even more.. and then one of us finds someone else... or we just sit around and fool each other that this is working .

And just what was that dream all about... soul mates, something i read about in books, and see in movies, but I dont think its real.


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