Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Thyroid update

Cuz I know everyone is waiting with bated breath .. hahahah

OK.. so doctor says... you know what I'm going to ask you arent you?

I said.. *sighs*

He said.. How in the world did you gain 12 pounds in 3 months?

I'm like.. ummmmm

Pick one... stress, sedentary study lifestyle, I'm tired, fatigued, I eat like crap, I dont have a thyroid function.. even tho you say those labs are correct.. I think they lie..

Soooo he said.. okey well then .. I want you to do some cardio... walking.. treadmill... jogging.. etc etc..

I was like.. ok .. I have a treadmill.

He's like.. umm you have a treadmill and you dont use it because?

refer to above answer as to why I gained the 12 pounds in the first place.

Sooooo long story short..

He wants me on the treadmill for 30 mins a day... and to start Weight Watchers.. in in return he changed my medication to the Armor thyroid replacement that has both T3 and T4 in it.

Then in 3 months I go back and we check out how I'm doing.

So.. he said.. you arent taking that Beta Blocker anymore are you? I said.. nope.. he said good.. so just hte birth control and the Synthroid.. and I said.. weeeeeelll bout that birth control pill.

He said.. oh do you want another baby?

I said.. ummm no

He said.. weeeeeeeell?

OKey .. so back on birth control pills.

Now you all know where I'm at.. :P

More than you wanted to know bout me ...


Raining.. in So Cal

So here I am .. middle of desert in California.. and yes.. thunderstorm.. which I of course think is awesome.. however, no one can drive.

Well .. the truth .. we dont have seasons here.. Its warm, hot, and jeeezus christ.. I've found hell... and its here..

So, it rains a little and people panic.

They drive their kids to school cause they are afraid the kid might get wet. What the hell happened to .. "It's raining!!! yayaay" splash splash puddle puddle.. off to the bus stop..

So, I took my kid to school today .. but I drive her everyday... cause.. I dont want my kid to be abducted... so .. of course.. everyone elses parent drove them.. if you can call it driving.. to school as well..

They are all on their phones, not loooking where they are going.. and bascially a bunch of fuckwads at large..

My favorite is when you are trying to turn right and they keep moving forward so you can't see beyond the front of their BMW ..and you hope a big trash truck will come by and rip off the front of their car.. muhuwahahhah

I hate people on cell phones when they obviously can't drive, the ones who chat in the toilet, or are in the classroom on the phone..

Trust me people, you are NOT that important that you can't take a shit without the phone stuck to your ear.

Scary thing..

So Saturdya night, next door neighbors having a party .. *sighs* and Sunday morning i have to get up at 5:30 am. But I go to bed relatively early, hey I have children, i can sleep through anything right?

Fell asleep, .. no problem.. up at 5:30 went to the hospital.

Got home... S asks me.. hey .. was the News crew out there when you left this morning? I was like.. umm.. no.. why do you ask? He said because they knocked on the door about 7:30 am this morning.. apparently some kid was shot and died out front this morning.


So I figured.. naaaah they have the wrong street. We dont live on the wrong side of town.. they made a mistake.

He said the news guys said it was on this street in this block. So, then he went ont to say it was at 6 am. Okey I left at 6:15 am .. so now even more freaked.

We stayed up and watched the news Sunday night. Sure enough, kid was shot, "found" shot, in the middle of our street Sunday at 12:30 am, not 6:00 am. Which is still freaky, because the kid was pretty much shot in the middle of the street almost directly in front of our house.

I didnt hear it, the music from the party was up too loud. S had been complaining to the cops since 11 pm, and they were too busy to come out to tell them to turn the music down. Well gee now a kid is dead. Granted, I'm sure the cops were busy .. but the dispatchers lately have been really bitchy about when people in our neighborhood call to complain about party noise. Like we are just supposed to deal with it. Well, when some of us work.. and have to get up early .. and arent complete fuckheads with an attitude.. then yes, I do expect someone to come out and tlel them to turn it down. I'd like to reiterate.. I do not live in a bad neighborhood.

We do however have next door neighbors that I believe are actually two familes living in that house and they have kids.. kids throw parties.. usually their parties are family oriented with cake.. carne asada (yum) and beer ... music loud... etc...

I dont know if the kid who was shot was at the party .. or was at the house kitty corner from us.. cause.. okey now those individuals are a bit... shady... so yeah I suppose it could be gang related.. or drug related..

It was just a bit shocking to see it on the News.. the camera caught our house... . just weird.

Then I felt bad for this kid's mother. The 18 yr old male was shot, found shot, so no witnesses, they took him to the hospital where he later died.

Very sad.. what a waste.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Graduation and more stuff

I graduate from nursing school in 3 months exactly from this date.

Yes, we did impeach the class president. But she said she wuite before we actually impeached her. eh whatever. So we kind of forgot to factor in we had to do all this work since she had done nothing in the 12 months she was in office.

So we are arranging photographers, ordering invitations, ordering pins, getting the programs organized, etc etc.

Along with the papers, tests, and school requirements for this scary semester. ER, ICU and Cardiac. We are in Cardiac right now. Makes it fun to watch "House"...

"He's in bradycardia"

Give him Atropine! I shout at the TV.. ... and lo and behold.. .in the TV world.. they followed my advice.. course.. they were scripted to.. but it was nice to actually know what they were talking about..and to order the correct medications.. LOL

Hmm.. well and my finances are in the crapper.. but hey .. in 3 months I will be making good money to bail myself out of debt right? Its going to be a little Xmas this year.

I transferred my internship to another hospital. Its closer to my home and with gas being extremely expensive, its a smart move. I can do my clinicals on the weekends and stay to work for an extra 3 or 4 hours on the weekends and make some money without having to leave the building. Nice!

Other than that, its a new school year for the little goobers. The boy has a girlfriend.. hahhaaha .. he showers everyday now.. thats a good thing.. LOL.. Before new girlfriend had to threaten to hose him off in the front yard if he didnt wash off.

The girl is single.. and she is happy so she says.. well there is this guy... she tells me yesterday.. I hope this one turns out better than the last two goofbalsl she has gone out with . The last one she was with is on his second girlfriend of the school year, yeah .. I think they've been back in school all of 3 weeks..*shakes head*

Anyhow.. on the 20th go to get my thyroid checked..well.. i guess its a med check up .. not really my thyroid since my thryoid is all shriveled up.

Oh, and still paying on that lovely $4700 hospital bill.. along with its brother and sister, the $288.00 and $56.00 bill. Yippee.. got a whole family of them..

What ticks me off is that the hospital is so disorganized in their billing. Its really sad. It takes them forever to bill my insurance, bill me, etc I could have filed for Medi-Cal a long time ago to cover the bills if I knew it was this much. Since I am in the poverty level right now. But, they waited until the last possible moment. Now, its too late. After 3 months, its too late.

So, I will be working for the same hospital when I graduate.. I figure they will get it out of me one way or another right? LOL

OKey.. back to the grind.. study study study..

Sunday, September 11, 2005

People can be such assholes..

So I left early to get to the hospital this morning. I stopped by the grocery store to deposit a check into my acct because its overdrawn. So, figured I'd get some coffee while i was at it. There at the register was some lady talkihg to the checker. The checker was saying.. "Yeah, well I'm not good til I get my6 second cup of coffee" I laughed and said.. yeah me neither.

So then I went and grabbed a water out of the coller thing and the lady turns to me and was like well what are you doing? And I had no idea what she was talking about. She says to me.. well why arent you there where the Hurricane victims are?

I was like.. I'm a student.

She said, "So? you can go there and help they need help."

I said, well I dont graduate until December, I dont have a license.

"Well you could go." said Ms. Know it all.

Meanwhile the checker is standing there staring at me.. I'm like.. can you fucking move? Like ring my stuff up before I slug this lady.

I really dont appreciate people who have no idea what my life is like.. sit back and judge me. This person, if you can call her that, had no idea what my life is like.. I've donated $65 I don't even HAVE to Hurricane victims and their pets..

I donated BLOOD on Friday, even when I went bradycardic (under 60 heart beats per minute is brady, I was 60 when I started giving and shot down after) and was so sick I stayed in bed for the rest of the day.

I have TWO kids that I have NO ONE to help me take to and from school. I HAVE to finish school.. I am going bankrupt.. and someone can sit there and JUDGE me?

Not to mention practicing without a license.. fucking moron.

My question to her is.. WHY aren't YOU there?

So then .. after the lady finally leaves.. the checker turns to me and says... "Is nursing school hard?"

Fucking morons.

No, its easy.. thats why everyone is a nurse.

Fucking morons.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Hurricane Katrina


My friend that has been missing for a week.. Mike.. turned up today online.. imagine that! After me freaking out for over a week about where his ass was and if he was lying in a ditch somewhere and no one was there to help him, he just casually logs into Yahoo Messenger..


Well after I sent him cyber hugs.. and yellled at him for making me cry.. i was so relieved .. so entirely relieved. His whole area where he lived is under 10 to 15 feet of water. He was looking at the pictures while he was online with me :( horribly horribly sad.

He told me he is in Alabama.. and doing well. The whole 504 area code is out, he couldnt use his phone. He of course had no computer.. so no way to get us messages.. he was at a friends house borrowing his computer for the first time today.

I prayed soooo much .. over and over.. I bargained with him.. altho he doesnt know it.. I said to myself.. I will never ever yell at him again for doing something I consider stupid in our RP Game.. just please be alive.. and please contact someone.. anyone.. I think out of all of our friends, I was the last one to talk to him the Saturday night before the levees broke.. .. *sighs* so now I can't yell at him .. I suppose I can speak tersely at him right? Nooo I still want to hug him and yell at him... I looked for hours and hours at every forum looking for his name.. I listed him as missing.. cried my eyeballs out at all the pictures and stories .. I wish I could have gone.. and helped in the hospitals.. but i have got to finish this semester out so I can help in other ways.

Right now, I am praying for everyone else's families who are still missing loved ones.. and all the families missing their pets.

I've donated for Red Cross and the Animal Rescue and the "Find Snowball" reward.

I wish I was already a nurse.. because I would be down there.. I have 100 more days left of school ..

I plan to give blood on Friday.. everyone cross your fingers that my iron is up ..

Monday, September 05, 2005

Happy Birthday to Me

I'm a year older in 12 minutes.

In looking back on this year, I'm surprised I made it through.

Through all the health problems, mental meltdowns, personality conflicts, teenage children, and major amounts of papers and tests... I made it another year.

But, what is really disturbing. What in fact bothered me enought o think about it tonight..

Is that most of my friends, have changed from one year to the next. I never stay friends with people for long. Moving from job to job. Or school, semester to semester. I dont stay in touch with people that well.

I guess its ok in the case of my family. We arent very close. In fact, if I had any real heartbreaking problem, I wonder who I would go to.

Would I talk to my sig other about it? I probably would approach him, but would he understand? Probably not. I am seriously disillusioned about this soul mate thing. Personally I dont believe there is such a species.

Would I talk to my sometime friend M? Would I tal to the girls from school? Probably talk to S from school, yes.. but .. then what.. after I graduate are we still going to be firends? or will we drift apart and not take the time to keep our friendship going>?

I have online friends, in the same RPG game I've played for 3 years. Some I've even known before that. But, the common interests we may have once had are diminishing.

Then soon I will graduate.. and will be working in the hospital.. and will have a whole new set of people to deal with. Then what? I will make "new friends" and will they truly be friends?

Maybe I am just not the type to keep long term friends. Maybe I just dont want anyone to know me long enough, then they might really see who I am.

What am I going to change for the upcoming year?

Well I have already started getting back on the dreaded treadmill

I need to dust.. bigtime..

I'm not much of a cleaner tho. My mom spent all her waking moments it seemed like.. cleaing up after 6 kids.. she was miserable. If people come over to my house and wrinkle their nose because I have dusty shelves, and there are crumbs from pretzels on the floor, then they can can find the dusting stuff and the mop and have at it.

I'd rather pop in a movie.. or read a book .. or write .. I love to write.. a few people i know online who have read my stuff have said I should publish my stories.. but .. firstly that would require me to rewrite a lot of stuff I already wrote, which involves time. Secondly it would require me to put myself out there, my heart on the chopping block, because i put my heart into my writings.. and then what.. watch it get chopped into smithereens as someone takes it apart and critiques it.

I dont know.. we'll see what this new year brings.

And hopefully next year I wont be as brooding as this year LOL